Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Things That Are Bullshit

  1. Micheal Steele
  2. People who farm in the dessert and bitch about there being no water. I'm looking at you California.
  3. My brother who voted for Bush twice, bitches about Obama and socialism. But barely lives above the poverty line. And hopes his pregnant finance can get Medicaid and is so thankful the kid will have SCHIP. YOU'RE WELCOME!!

Friday, March 20, 2009

Janus Only with Better Hair

So I find myself in a place where I am at once both looking backward and forward. As always my twin, the other half of myself is thinking the same thing. We really do share a brain.

My kid turned 12 a few months ago. I don't know how many of you remember being 12, but it's sort of a no man's land. You're not a little kid anymore, but you're not yet a teenager ready for independence. We've had some stumbles as a family lately trying to work out what the right balance of independence and parental control are. It's a fascinating experience to be on this side of the pre-teen/teen transition.

And it's got me thinking of my own self at that age. Me and the kid have had talks about what's going on in school socially. And his experience is eerily similar. So, I'm pondering if I should tell him what he's in store for.

Basically, it's gonna suck ass for the next few years. You're way more mature than your peers, and it's going to be that way at least until college. You'll make some really good friends. But, it's going to take you some time to grow into yourself and find a way of belonging. The good news is that there are bunch of folks going through the same thing. And after you guys figure yourselves out, you'll find each other. And I can assure you will grow into a wonderfully rich life full of smart, sophisticated, funny people who totally get you . And the good news is, you're going to be old a lot longer than you're going to be young. Even though it doesn't seem that way from your vantage point right now.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Why I love Emily Post

I know it’s hard to believe that someone who says fuck as much as I do gives a whit about etiquette. Yet, I do.
I know Emily Post is seen as being the ultimate in snobbery. But, nothing could be further from the truth. Emily was the highest of high society ladies. But, she married an asshole. After her fancy husband had an affair with a stripper, she got herself a divorce and a job. In 1905. Back when such things were just.not.done.
We can pretend, if we like, that America is a classless society. But, we only are kidding ourselves. Even as race, gender, and sexual identity become less and less important … class remains.
The way Emily saw it, the only thing that separated high society from the rest of us was knowing the rules. If you could know the rules of high society, anyone could join. So she wrote all the rules down. What’s more inclusive than that?
There is a growing sentiment that manners and etiquette are outdated. According to Miss Manners, “etiquette is no longer a ladder for social climbers or a bludgeon for snobs; it's a tool for transforming ourselves and our society into something nobler, by bringing the ideals of mutual respect, dignity, and equality back into our everyday lives by the way we teach each other.” Manners are the grease that keeps society moving along.
In the introduction to Mrs. Post’s 1922 opus, there is an almost eerily prescient passage.
“The polished gentleman of sentimental fiction has so long served as the type of smooth and conscienceless depravity that urbanity of demeanor inspires distrust in ruder minds. On the other hand, the blunt, unpolished hero of melodrama and romantic fiction has lifted brusqueness and pushfulness to a pedestal not wholly merited.”
If only Sarah Palin had brushed up on her Emily Post, she might be Vice President.